im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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