one two three fourrrrnication!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
