did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
