bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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