God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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