I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
