but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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