If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
