Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
