How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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