Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
