it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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