how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
