It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
