He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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