he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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