Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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