It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
