Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
