You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
