I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
