a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this is an emotional support booty call
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
