walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
