friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
