wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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