You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
