I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
