Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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