I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
