no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
