This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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