Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
