i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hippo gnu deer
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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