why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
