Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Even my vagina gasped.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
