y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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