puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
