is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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