She's JV to your varsity
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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