I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
