i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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