I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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