You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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