A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
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