I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
