I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
