Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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