Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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