I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
