i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
