You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
