She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
