What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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