Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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