it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
