there's paper in my vomit.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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