toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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